Who's On First, Part 2...

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, lets just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need? 

ABBOTT: Word. 

COSTELLO: What word? 

ABBOTT: Word in Office. 

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office. 

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows. 

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows? 

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W". 

COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet? 

ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One. 

COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I need! 

ABBOTT: Real One. 

COSTELLO: If it's a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 & 4. Can I watch them? 

ABBOTT: Of course. 

COSTELLO: Great! With what? 

ABBOTT: Real One. 

COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do? 

ABBOTT: You click the blue "1". COSTELLO: I click the blue one what? ABBOTT: The blue "1". 

COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue w? 

ABBOTT: The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is Word. 

COSTELLO: What word? 

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows. 

COSTELLO: But there's three words in "office for windows"! 

ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world. 

COSTELLO: It is? 

ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there. 

COSTELLO: And that word is real one? 

ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part of Office. 

COSTELLO: STOP! Don't start that again. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with? 

ABBOTT: Money. 

COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have? 

ABBOTT: Money. 

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money? 

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer. 

COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer? 

ABBOTT: Money. 

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer? 

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge. 

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much? 

ABBOTT: One copy. 

COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money? 

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money. 

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money? 

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT! A FEW DAYS LATER . . . 

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you? 

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off? 

ABBOTT: Click on "START"...